To be very honest, I figured Richard Simmons was dead, or missing, or at the very least, out of the public eye. But thanks to the diligence of Auburn student, Andrew Thomson, we now know with certifiable precision, the exact location of the creator of Deal-a-Meal. It turns out he's making appearances at the Memphis Women's Covention. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes. But, as you can see from the pic, Richard is indeed a deity. In fact (and I'm not making this up) when he saw that I was going to take his picture, he reached out to me, and, surrounded by his worshippers and a beacon of ethereal light, said "You're too far away from me...come heeeeeere..."

He left a profound impression on all who witnessed his glory today:

"Pure, unrestrained elation." - Chelsea McLemore

"Seeing Richard Simmons made my day...no, week! Okay, more like month." - Bethany Klausing

"Short gym shorts. Black tank top with glitter hearts. Big hair. Kissing old men in suits. I think my life is complete" - John McCabe

"I'm emotionally drained..." - Matt Julian

"Purely inspirational" - John Rea

"Do the Pony" - Corin Ludwig

"Now I know how Columbus felt when he discovered the New World...Richard, thank you...for everything." - Andrew Thomson (at the right place at the right time)