April showers.

In the pantheon of euphemisms, "she's no Miss America" is perhaps one of the most cruel yet kind--implying good personality, good sense of humor, and good people skills. Still, it's a killer descriptive, and I can't think of any other way to describe one of the two Contraption items this month: The Incredible Head Power Showerhead.

The captain of the cheerleading squad, conversely, is the Speakman S-2252-AF-BP Anystream Shower Head, a looker if there ever was one. How did these two find their way into my heart and onto my half-inch pipe? Well, here's the story:

I recently went out west to visit my folks, and remembered that both of their showers were of disappointing pressure and sub-par distribution. (You know, the kind of showerhead that has a "ring" of spray around the outside, but no water in the middle?) I vowed that I would try to do them a favor by bringing my favorite showerhead, the Speakman, on my next visit, and here was my chance. I plunked down my forty bucks at the nearby Bed, Bath and Beyond (mentioned in a lot of these columns, I know) and packed the sucker--um, sprayer--up in my luggage. I got on the plane, and installed the unit the evening I arrived. Rave reviews came in from my dad the next morning, so we went out searching for an additional Speakman for the other bathroom. Good son.

Because my folks are up in Canada, finding a Speakman in stock was very difficult, so we settled for a visit to a local supply house to peruse the latest hardware. There were tons and tons of options, but as we reached for one that seemed appropriate, the saleswoman asked us if we had heard of "The Incredible Head". Apparently, it had won all sorts of accolades in Consumer Reports, provided an incredible spray (hence the name) and cost a mere thirteen bucks! Canadian.

Now, thirteen bucks Canadian works out to less than ten dollars American, so this was pretty darn cheap. The problem, here, was that my father and I share the same philosophy when it comes to making purchases: In this world, you usually get what you pay for. How much bang could possibly be provided for ten bucks? We were dubious, but as we hemmed and hawed for a couple minutes, a contractor who looked like he had seen a few Langstrom seven-inch Gangly wrenches in his time piped up and said that he had been installing the Incredible Showerheads on all his jobs--and, that he had recently sold his own $150 head in a yard sale, and replaced it with the Power Showerhead. This guy seemed for real, so we ordered one up from behind the service counter and made our way back to my folks'.

Now, this scenario presented me with a bit of a dilemma. See, here I was, bringing my parents a brand-new, heavy, shiny, top-of-the-line Speakman all the way from New York, only to risk going head-to-head (Yes!) with a blister-packed minimouse. My pride was at stake. Heck, my reputation was at stake!

The Incredible Head Power Showerhead is produced by Resources Conservation, Inc., who offer a full line of water- and energy-saving products. It has indeed won the nod from Consumer Reports (in '90-'91), but has been around since 1978. It's made of chrome-finished solid brass, and is also available in white. Its secret, I'm told, is in its "spinning action," which seems to produce an aerated spray that is nothing short of amazing. And incredible.

The Speakman World Class Anystream Shower Head has also garnered its share of awards, winning the Readers Digest "Best Buy" award in both 1991 and 1997, and has retained essentially the same design since 1948 (with a few aesthetic changes in the '50's). This showerhead-- the "model II" in Speakmanspeak--is the classic hotel shower, found in Ritz Carltons, Hyatts, and Marriots. It is, to be sure, the showerhead against which others are measured, and it looks the part. The spray it produces is adjustable and, digging for adjectives, I would claim ranges from the raucous rocket, to the velvet caress of a thousand angels. The soft spray is less like a shower of water than a blanket of self-indulgence. But, regrettably, only if you've got decent water pressure.

Which my parents do not.

So which head comes out victorious in Victoria? Well, although The Incredible Head gives off a great spray, especially in low-pressure situations, the Speakman probably wins in terms of overall delivery and detail. Still, at a quarter the price, The Incredible Head deserves high marks for clever engineering and no-nonsense design. As a final note, there are few objects that provide us with the daily pleasure that a well-engineered showerhead can. If your showerhead isn't delivering the goods, try one of these alternatives. Your body will thank you.

Speakman World Class Anystream Shower Head
Speakman
Wilmington, DE, USA
1-302-764-9100

The Incredible Head Power Showerhead
Resources Conservation, Inc.
Greenwich, CT, USA
1-800-243-2862

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Contraption is a monthly review of remarkable products spanning as many categories as we can get away with. Email Allan Chochinov with comments and suggestions. Check back with us for more and enjoy what you've got now! Copyright 1996 Core77 Inc.