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march 2000 design news
by N. Rain Noe
Audi (oh, shi)TT
What must be the most beautiful automobile in the world, the Audi TT, has recently come under fire after a spate of TT high-speed crashes in Europe. Apparently the back end of the spritely coupe tends to wander at high speeds, compromising traction.
So far the crashes and the drama have only been in Europe. Says Jennifer Garber, a spokeswoman for Audi of America, "We believe the problem is related to unique driving conditions in Germany that don't apply here." Drivers on the German Autobahn can freely drive at 120 m.p.h., a sensation Americans don't typically get to experience (unless you killed Nicole Brown Simpson or are the Godfather of Soul). Indeed, Audi claims the well-publicized crashes with fatalities all occurred at over 110 m.p.h.
To rectify the problem, Audi is offering to retrofit existing TTs with spoilers, new suspension components and a complex electronic stability system. If that doesn't work, maybe they should ask sister company VW to fax them some Fahrvergnugen.
Paper Chase
Ever misplace a crucial concept sketch in the stacks of drawings on your desk? Or lost the client's design brief in a pile of faxes?
German company Thax Software aims to solve the problem of Too Much Paper with its new Findentity, a hi-tech system of physically tracking documents in an office.
Sort of like Lo-Jak for paper, Findentity requires you to mark all documents with a tiny sticker/transponder. A chip embedded in the transponder can be traced by antennas placed inside your office. Software in your PC can then show you where any given document is by drawing a 3-D map of your space and pointing it out with a flashing arrow.
If putting little stickers on every sheet of paper sounds tedious, well, that's what interns are for. And once the technology becomes prevalent, we here in the CORE office plan to celebrate by holding heated contests of Air Traffic Controller using interns, iMacs and paper airplanes.
(Note: This technology can also be abused to track your fellow employees. Just leave a sticker on their chair and presto!)
No More Sharpie Lines on the Monitor
For all of us industrial designers, scanning sketches into the computer so we can render them is a big pain in the neck. Even after they're scanned, mice, trackballs and pen tablets don't provide an interface as direct as using a Prismacolor pencil on paper.
To remedy this, Wacom has introduced a new input device. The Wacom PL-400 is a touch-sensitive LCD screen that you can draw directly on with a stylus, making changes right on the screen. Hooks right up to your Mac with a PCI card. Talk your boss into coughing up the 3 grand to buy one; if he was thinking of putting the money towards buying himself an Audi TT, show him the newsbit up top.
"See, I ++++Do++++ Have a Normal Ass."
Tri-fold wallets have long been the curse of many a man's right buttcheek. The bulky items, in addition to tempting muggers, make it uncomfortable to sit, and are way too big to fit in a breast pocket.
Men's wallet designers have finally taken note, evidenced by the market's recent rash of new "breast-pocket wallets"--bi-folds that can hold entire bills without folding them in half, and which have markedly slimmer profiles. The ironic thing is, once you buy one of the pricey items--Bergdorf's runs $625--you won't have anything left to put inside the damn thing except the receipt.
Down Under the Front Grill
Car bumpers are typically designed to protect the car from external forces--other cars, or fixed barriers. But in Australia, collisions frequently occur with other types of external forces: specifically, kangaroos.
As a result, auto designers with concerns in Australia are now trying to design kangaroo-friendly bumpers. To this end they've actually constructed kangaroo crash-test dummies, which stand stoically by the side of the road while drivers smash into them.
Australians having the way with words that they do, the new bumpers will probably end up being named chadwozzers, hooteringos or frawdaddy-bumberskootchies.
As a designer, I looked at the problem myself; but after studying the design of the kangaroo, I couldn't think of a more efficient bumper. I did, however, come up with a great idea for placing infant children in snug little pockets in the middle of the seats.
Core News is written by N. Rain Noe, a freelance designer and writer currently hard at work on a pilot episode of his original show, "Who Wants To Beat The Crap Out of Regis Philbin."
REGIS: Alright Tommy, you can hit me with a bat, a lead pipe, a stick made out of nerf, or a board with a nail through it. What's it gonna be.
TOMMY: Uh...I'll take the board with the nail through it.
REGIS: Is that your, final answer.
TOMMY: Oh, you betcha. Your final question, too.
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