At the risk of losing our European and Asian readers, I have to tell you about this.

Yes, we Americans do dumb things. But sometimes those dumb things are really freaking funny. A perfect case in point is the sadly now-defunct Rockford Speedway Figure 8 Trailer Race in Illinois.

For our urban readers worldwide, a little context is required. In rural America, where I live, it's common to own a pickup truck and a trailer. Sometimes this is for recreation; the aspirations of rural prosperity include some type of pleasure craft, like a boat or a camper trailer, and you need a self-sufficient way to transport those things. Other times it's for property maintenance; you might own a tractor, certainly a riding mower, and when required repairs exceed your abilities, you have to bring the machine to someone who can fix it.

The bottom line is, whatever you're trailering is often valuable to you, precious even. And trailering requires extra care and safety precautions, because towing something 18 feet long that weighs thousands of pounds is inherently dangerous, and can induce some stress.

Which is what makes this race so goddamn funny, at least to me. Participants line up on the track in pickup trucks, SUVs or even sedans, with a trailer load. And rather than having a sensible oval track, the course is figure-8 shaped, which guarantees vehicular conflict.

There is no set amount of laps and no time limit. This is a last-man-standing affair. The last running vehicle that has its trailer still attached, wins the race.

What makes it so ridiculous, is that if you were trying to "win," you'd logically attach the smallest, most nimble trailer you could find. Instead people are hooking up dual-axle 40-footers, boats, and one guy is even dragging a jet-ski behind a boat on a trailer.

If you're in the mood to see some silly mayhem, it's worth a scrub-through:

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The race was last held in 2023, and then Rockford Speedway was sold to real estate developers and shut down. I was going to write "This is why we can't have nice things" but I guess it doesn't quite apply here.