The Onion has been "bought" by Yu Wan Mei, the Chinese amalgamated salvage fisheries and polymer injection corp, and, in addition to a total brand overhaul and "adjustment" in pespective, they're now reporting on the hottest new consumer products, manufactured by the salvage fishery themselves.
Our favorites include the Yu Wan Mei Device and Gel, available exclusively in the Onion store. Though it's difficult to discern the function of these mysterious products, the catalog captions clear it all up:
Yu Wan Mei device: The device has been completed and is now available for sale. Code 41-Virtue-00b.
Gel: Made with all ingredients, this gel is perfect for any occasion. Child and adult enjoy it equally, sometimes, as do even pets! If you need gel, buy this gel.
View the rest of these Chinese product spoofs here.
More after the jump.
Yu Wan Mei Miscellaneous Flavor Paste: Any meal or food can be a better meal with the magic touch of the Miscellaneous Flavor Paste spread on it! It is strongly recommended that you buy two, because of the compelling power of this product.
Taste Stick: Kids, you want a stick that has your favorite tastes attached to it. From lychee to trout, to even Chinese boar, there are more taste options than stars in the sky! Apply with caution to your tongue and then enjoy the tastes.
Yu Wan Mei Loyalty Bracelet: Show your loyalty to Yu Wan Mei and its line of products in a high-fashion way! The bracelet looks so nice for men or wome--even the GPS chip inside is designed with an eye for style. Do not remove the Loyalty Bracelet.
Lisa is dedicated to promoting the American contemporary design scene. She keeps herself busy as the co-founder of the Object Design League, an association of independent designers in Chicago, and design practice Smith&Linder, both co-founded with Caroline Linder. She also teaches foundation research studios at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.