If you thought wooden clogs were just in fairy tales or Dutch postcards, you're missing out on the hottest DIY accessory you can make from your own woodpile. They're known as "Klomps" and not only are these klomky footwear still around, they're surprisingly simple to make… at least if you're a champion shoemaker.
This is Mr. Beekhuiszen, one such champion from Eemnes, Netherlands, plying his traditional trade complete with salty commentary:
As noted, the process looks easier than it is. He seems to shape the soaked wood more gracefully than I slice cheese. The real skill, we helpfully learn, is in knowing how to not punch a hole in the sole or top. His entire process uses just three central tools: the hand axe, lock knife and spoon drill. You can use sandpaper if you're fancy.
This second video (of a non-clog-champion) shows a more "modern" approach, using such newfangled gadgets as a lathe.
Both methods require a great deal of deft hand finishing with large tools, and the system for paring down the shape is wild to watch in real time. While the techniques seem simple enough to DIY, I imagine it's hard to get around Beekhuiszen's "do it enough that you're not crappy at it" advice. If you're up to the challenge I recommend the rundown on the detailed and traditionally-minded site Klompenmaken.
Even if these (weirdly soothing) process videos don't make you crave clog carving, they're a serious reminder of what sharp tools can do.