Carpel tunnel? Psh. That's for sissies. Steelcase addresses the more serious and widespread epidemic known as Furnitosis: "A condition born from ill-fitting, unsightly office furniture. Symptoms include curvature of the spine hunching, fatigue, dementia, disillusionment, headache, shame, sagging and unplanned guttural noises." Symptoms include Waffle Butt (not to be confused with Muffin Bum), Noodle Knees, and Office Avoidus.
Sufferers need not suffer any longer. "It's a treatable malady born from ill-fitting, unsightly office furniture...Fortunately, Furnitosis is an easy condition to remedy. By selecting sleek, ergonomic chairs and workspaces from SteelcaseStore.com, you're well on your way to fighting this condition." Whew! Anyone got a couple grand we can borrow?