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The Weekly Design Roast, #6
Industrial malign
"The difficulty of getting in and out of this thing is well worth the tradeoff of owning furniture that pays homage to scorpions."
"As an architect, I like to have control. With staircases, it's always bothered me that my clients could choose which foot to place on which step. With this design, I am able to dictate which steps I want you to use your right foot on, and which are for your left foot. You use these the way I decide you use them."
"I was going for maximum footprint, minimal usable storage space."
"I didn't have enough time to finish the project, but I can sell this one 'in the room'--I've already got a bullshit speech prepared about 'the majesty of trees,' et cetera."
"Sure, the hangers are a little pointy at both ends, but I think consumers will be delighted that you can take all of the clothes off of them and assemble them into a perfect cylinder to impress visitors. I estimate the average user will do this at least once a week."
"I'll never run out of toilet paper again."
"Three things I like: Relaxing, reading, and spilling spare change onto my potted plants."
"When dining, I like to have a white cylinder of light blocking my visibility of the person across from me. I also love this thing because after my guests leave and I close it up, the room is dominated by a hulking white pod."
"What's the big deal? Just wash your hands after you use it, you puss. This is a space-saving design."
"You told me the bike lane needed drainage, but you weren't specific about how bicycle tires work. So I don't think this is my fault."
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Comments
The stairs were made with the last 8 sq ft of endangered Tibetan timber on earth, they had to stagger them to reach all the way up.
The last item is a minimalist bike rack you luddite.
That type of stair is called a "Lapeyre stair" and known for its efficiency and ease of use. That looks like a constrained space requiring this solution. Maybe consider doing some research and educating yourself before you make fun of a profession and things you don't understand. https://www.lapeyrestair.com/alternating-tread-stair
You mean I save 20 square feet and ascend/descend like a ladder instead of stairs? Awesome architectural innovation.
In Daniel's defence, I saw this type stairway to reach a crawlspace that had been deepened into a basement. Because of where the foundation was laid, it would have been tens of thousands more to create the space for a longer stairway.
yes, you'd save 20sf plus the cost/work/effort and possibly the non-existent space that required this direction. It an option that was proposed by the architect and ACCEPTED by the client... which makes this discussion irrelevant.
I actully have an area were this could be used as a back staircase for an emergency egress from the second floor. I guess a ladder would be cheaper though.
Even with the name, you can still control your clients feet.
They live there.... they know where to place their feet.
I think you missed the part that this is satirical.
common excuse for backtracking.
I absolutely love this series. There's so much material to roast. You could do an entire post just on Karim Rashid. The toilet rolls picture could have an alternative footnote: "As a young design student I soon learnt the explosive powers of eating 7 curries a week and combining that with a love of Newcastle Brown Ale. My design proposal to cover all surfaces with toilet roll takes into consideration the need to be prepared and forces the owner to always buy paper in good time on an indsutrial scale.
From their **actual marketing**
Strategy
Lapeyre's Alternating Tread Stairs were installed in order to provide the access needed without compromising the limited space with a large staircase footprint.
Results
After a couple of weeks of practice, employees got the hang of the unique tread of the ATS system and were able to access storage quickly and easily.
Because that's what I'm looking for, a staircase design that I can become accustomed to in as little as "a couple of weeks", instead of the literally 0 seconds it takes me to master those boring, traditional ones.