It's finally here:
The iLaunch runs Keynote-formatted presentations in high definition through a built-in projector while displaying a 3-D rotating image of the product. Voice-recognition software, Apple's most advanced to date, can recite a speech highlighting the features of the device while injecting several clever digs at competitors. Should a product demonstration experience a glitch or malfunction, the iLaunch boasts a complex algorithm that can automatically produce humorous and distracting quips.
Gotta love the onion.
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what's next...introducing the...iCult... (standing ovation)...
Now all you unconditional Apple-addicts can purchase all the products Apple makes before you even know what they are. Your hard earned money is directly withdrawed from your bank account and there are no barriers for Apple to slowly milk every penny from you with all their planned obsolete environmentally un-responsable but well designed products you don't need.