Core77

The ingenious website Cheatneutral offers a great service for all those who can't help themselves but cheat on their loved ones. Particularly at this time of year with all those boozy Christmas parties taking place, it happens a lot that people end up in bed with someone else but their own partners. But thanks to Cheatneutral you can neutralize the damage you have done to your relationship by paying the small amount of only GBP 2,50 which will be used to offset your cheating by funding someone else to be faithful and NOT cheat.

Jealousy and heartbreak are a natural part of modern life. And sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it's just not possible to be faithful. At Cheatneutral, we believe that we should all try to reduce the amount we cheat on our partners, but we also realise that fidelity isn't always possible. That's why we help you neutralise your cheating. Your actions are offset by a global network of fidelity, developed by us. By paying Cheatneutral, you're funding monogamy-boosting offset projects - we simply invest the money you give us in monogamous, faithful or just plain single people, to encourage them to stay that way.

When you use Cheatneutral, we'll email you a Cheatneutral Offset Certificate, so you can prove to your loved one that your playing away has been successfully offset. Then, you and your partner are both happy, a broken heart is mended, and you can feel good about yourself again, all thanks to Cheatneutral. And when you need to cheat again, we'll be here for you.

Obviously this website is not meant seriously but designed to ridicule the ridiculous idea of carbon offsetting. Carbon offsetting is about paying for the right to carry on emitting carbon. The Carbon offset industry sold GBP 60 million of offsets last year, and is rapidly growing. Carbon offsetting is a joke - just like Cheatneutral!