If you are a female reader of Core77, please stop reading this post. This one is just for our male readers. Kindly skip to the next entry, thanks.
Okay, fellow guys, check this out: I want to talk about women's purses. I know we don't understand these objects well, but let's get our heads together and go over some basics.
First of all, they are all bigger on the inside than they are on the outside. They operate on some kind of wormhole principle, so they can hold more things than seems physically possible. With that kind of real estate in there, I'm surprised more women don't shoplift.
Secondly, we know they carry an absurdly broad range of items in there. A purse is nothing like our wallets, where only flat things go. Women can carry a cell phone, a second cell phone for work, credit cards, keys, change, beauty products, a makeup kit, pepperspray, eyeglasses, sunglasses, contact lenses and solution, pens and paper, chewing gum, energy bars, medicine, a hairbrush, a book, a magazine, and those products they don't show you in those commercials where women are riding on horseback and playing soccer and stuff. It's totally insane.
Thirdly, recognize that as males we don't have any equivalent catch-all personal luggage product. That's partially because we don't have to carry some of those things—we use our fingers instead of hairbrushes and our fists instead of pepperspray—and partially because we distribute the other things among our many pockets.
Anyway, here's what I want to tell you about women's purses that will surprise you: It is a mess in there. It's total chaos. You know how after your girlfriend moves in, all of a sudden it's not fine for you to stack that Costco-sized sack of new toilet paper rolls on top of the tank anymore? How she insists that it should neatly go into some designated place so that your bathroom doesn't look like a janitor's closet, and then to make a point about how messy your apartment is she purposely hides your remote during a playoff game? Well that neatness philosophy does not carry over into women's purses.
If you look inside one you'll see the design is horrible. Because there is no design. It's like one big compartment with maybe a zipper here and there that opens up to reveal a space just big enough to support the stitching that's holding the zipper in place. But otherwise everything is just thrown in there. It looks like a collapsed mineshaft filled with things, some of which are pink.
Anyways I realized this after stumbling across this post on "Jeri's Organizing & Decluttering News," a blog dedicated to decluttering, written by a professional organizer. She talks about this product called "purse organizers," which are like ammunition bandoliers except they go inside a purse and hold women's stuff. Neat little compartments to hold everything. They come in a lot of pretty colors even though they go inside the purse where you really can't see them. That makes sense, right? And leaving extra toilet paper inside a bathroom, where you're actually going to use it, just doesn't make any sense at all, right?
Well, I hope we've all learned a little something here. And now back to our regular programming.