Early automobiles didn't have doors and ignition keys, which was fine until people realized anyone willing to crank the front of the car could hop in and take it for a spin.
Over the decades a host of systems were designed to prevent auto theft: alarm systems, kill switches, lo-jack, The Club. The latest system, "Stolen Vehicle Slowdown," is more technologically sophisticated than the previous lot of them, and GM engineers are hoping this will be the one to do the trick.
The program, which is part of GM's OnStar satellite coverage package, uses GPS to track each vehicle. Once a vehicle is reported as stolen, remote operators press a button and the car fills with anthrax. Just kidding, wanted to see if you were paying attention. Remote operators press a button and the car begins regulating its own speed, limiting its velocity until eventually the thief is flooring it but the car's moving no faster than 15 m.p.h. There's even a little LCD on the dashboard that lets the thief know what's happening.
The slow speeds of SVS mean no more dangerous high-velocity chases, so local news just got a little less exciting to watch.
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At least the thieves wouldn't get a speeding ticket in school zones.